Coercing a child
I am now in the process of preparing everything my kids will be needing for the incoming school year. And while sewing ripped areas of their old uniforms and putting school patches on new ones, I keep on remembering a mother with two kids in the elementary grade. Let us call her Myra.
Myra is the sole bread winner of her family. She is a doting mom to her children and sends them to the best schools. She, however, dictates on her children what grade she wants them to have. She tells them to study, study, and study, in order to get perfect scores in all written exams. And not getting a perfect score even on a short quiz will result to hurting words coming from Myra. The kids would then be crying and saying sorry for committing mistakes in their exams.
Myra’s kids are intelligent. No doubt about that. They agree to everything their mom tells them and they follow her to the dot. The problem is, are they still enjoying their childhood? Are they still happy with their life? Is the relationship still healthy?
There is one mother I know very well, a practicing doctor, too, who knows that my kids excel in school. Her firstborn is an intelligent boy who did really good in school earning honors at the end of every school year. He often was the representative of the school in every inter-school competitions making Dr. Anna very proud. She accompanied her son in every contest and tutored him at home. She pushed his son to the limit just so he could earn more medals which he surely did. The problem came when the child finished school. He missed playing so much during his childhood because he felt it was taken away from him. So after graduating from college, he spent most of his time playing. His work suffered making him transfer from one company to another.
Dr. Anna is sorry for what is happening to her son. She regretted her action of pushing him too much in his studies. She now keeps on reminding me to let my children enjoy their childhood and let them be with their studies. I assured her that I don’t pressure my kids with regards to their studies. In fact I always tell them that committing mistakes is part of learning.
School is about to open in a few weeks. As parents, we want the best for our children. We send them to the best schools and prepare them for their future. But let us not forget that just like us, our children need time to relax, enough time to play and interact with kids their age. Let us not keep that away from them by pushing them too hard in school just for our own advantage – free tuition fee for garnering first honors, or just to have something to brag about. Let us be there to guide and support them. Be a friend, someone they could turn to during down times, someone who they can approach and who they know will listen to their problems. After all, success is not measured by the number of medals hanging in the wall.
picture from this site
