Ever since my child was born, he had this deformity (sorry, he does not want me to say it) that went with him. Yes, it is inborn. The specialist in PCMC (Philippine Children’s Medical Center) where I gave birth recommended the operation when my boy reaches 2 months old. But I just can’t bear the sight of my baby in post-op pain so I postponed the operation. Until last week when my kid finally agreed.

I myself had undergone operations- two cesarian sections, one discectomy . Not to mention the D & C I had on my first pregnancy. And I know very well how painful it is post-op. But when my son went under the knife last Sunday, my feelings were just difficult to describe. I much prefer to be inside rather than outside the operating room waiting for everything to be over. Minutes felt like hours and I lost count of how many rounds of rosaries I offered. My husband and I were confident with the skills of my son’s doctor. But as parents, we cannot just dismiss our worries which normally comes with being parents.

We felt better when the procedure was over and my son was awake. It was then time for us to relax and take our time to rest. But the rear end of the de luxe room in Pines City Doctors Hospital, Baguio City, where my son had his operation has a terrace that  is separated only by steel bars from our neighbors. All noises coming from the other rooms can be heard on our room. And since visitors were allowed in the private rooms for the whole day, well, just imagine the noise coming from children playing, babies crying, and adults talking like they were inside a public market. It felt not we were not in a private room after all. And the sleep which we badly needed came only on the wee hours of the morning. So we had to transfer to a suite room (not available on the day of our admission) where it was more private. My son recuperated well until he was discharged and it was time for us to go home.

During the Lenten celebration this past week, I noticed that many of our neighbors were noisy. They shout when they wanted to, sang with their karaoke, listened to loud music even on Good Friday. As I stood on my window to take a view of the highway, many vehicles passed by carrying with them their floaters and all on their way to the beach. It is so different when I was still growing up when the roads were almost empty especially from Holy Thursday to Black Saturday. A little laugh and my parents would stop us from making further noise.

The people from the beach claimed that there were simply too many visitors. Coming all the way from Tarlac, Pampanga, and other neighboring cities and towns. Visitors stayed, partied, had all the fun they wanted. And the locals simple made lots of money during those four days of vacation.

Yes, it is vacation. There is no work. But the malls and restos (Catholic ones) were closed as well. Does that mean that we all go to the beach and have a party? Do we really understand what the celebration is all about?

There is no work because we were given time to meditate, to pray, to ask forgiveness for the sins we have committed, to be one with God, and to thank Him for this gift of Life. There is nothing to do? There is too many, actually if you only perform your private devotions in the mornings and attend the church celebrations in the afternoons. It is only then that you can feel what God’s love is all about and to truly rejoice in His resurrection. I pity you if you didn’t. For as Fr. Soc Villegas has said during the Easter Vigil mass: “Those who were noisy will pass first the mental hospital before they go to purgatory.”

In a few days, there is another 3-day vacation. Those should have been the days to the stay in the beach and be noisy.

Photo from this site

I don’t know if going meatless on Holy week is still being observed by many. But we do. My entire family including the kids observe the tradition. The only difference now is that we are at home and not in Bicol. We used to travel to the south and stay with my in-laws for the Holy week in the past years. But with my mother-in-law’s passing several months ago, my hubby decided not to go this time. And so I had to prepare the menu for this meatless week. And I thought of something my family haven’t tasted yet. That’s the homemade bangus sardines in the photo.

The recipe was given to me by a friend- a medical representative who’s mom owns a catering business for decades now. He knows the procedure but was not quite sure of the proportions so it was trial and error for me. First time I did it and it turned out well. My kids love it. And that’s for me is the most important thing.

I used a kilo of fresh bangus, well cleaned and gutted. Put them in the pressure cooker with just enough water to cover them (this was my mistake, too much water). Add laurel leaf, an onion, sliced carrots, whole peppercorns, salt, and a tablespoon of olive oil. If you want you can add hot chillies. But I omitted them because I want it for my kids. Cover the pressure cooker and start the cooking. By the time you hear it whistle, start timing for one and a half hour. And that’s it! you’re done. Now, this procedure is water-based. If you want it to be oil based like the ones available commercially, use olive oil or corn oil (less expensive) instead of water. Be free to use any spice that you want.

During rainy days, my sister and I stay indoors. But we still continued with our role-playing with one acting out as the street hawker selling different kinds of street food. Or we would imitate the the beauty queens riding in a float passing through by-standers and throwing candies and other goodies. These were such fun memories. And not expensive at all except for some broken flower vases and figurines that we accidentally toppled during our play.

Nowadays, it is very different. Kids easily get bored if they don’t have something to tinker upon. They need something to hold and put their hands on. That’s why they have their cellphones, gameboy, the wii, play stations, and now the play station portable (PSP). Very expensive toys. Because most of their friends have the new PSP, my boys had been pressing their dad for it too. And they had patiently waited until the school year ends and results of their performance in school came out. We had a deal. And since they are both honor students, yesterday we bought what they had been wanting for. And it made their day.

The arbor is made of metal. This used to be covered with net housing the orchids underneath thus giving them shade and protecting them from the sun’s heat. But that was long ago when my mom used to love gardening and she stays in this garden for long hours. And her orchids were really in full bloom and the healthiest ever. Now those orchids were gone. When my mom decided to stay with my sister in Quezon City, the orchids were left untendered and lost their natural beauty until they slowly died one by one.

I missed the beauty of the garden. And I plan to do something about it. But because the net is no longer there, I plan to cover the arbor with vine instead for a more natural effect before I buy some orchids to be planted underneath. I allowed the bougainvillea to grow unhindered until it is able to cover part of the arbor. But I think a vine climbing the structure would look better than the bougainvillea just covering it but not winding around the bar. What do you think?

When my kids came, my life definitely changed. My priorities turned from household chores to taking care of them though I still kept my work. I am lucky my clinic is in the first floor of our house. I can easily go up or down where I am needed. But I needed help from someone who could do all the rest of household work. I was not used to it at first and I would schedule doing the cleaning and some cooking on weekends.

While the kids were growing up, the lesser time I had for myself. Much more so when I started teaching in the College of Medicine. I needed to study and prepare for my lectures, prepare exams, check papers, and compute grades. Add to these my work as a physician, as tutor for my kids, and my work at home. I needed to delegate more of the little things that needed to be done at home. When before I would be cleaning and arranging my kids’ toys in the shelf so that I know where to find them when my kids look for them, my househelp do that for me now. And there are a lot more things that I could not do anymore because of lack of time. And I find myself saying “too many things to do in a day but with too little time” regularly. It’s good that I know how to prioritize that I am able to keep track of everything thus making things at home so manageable.

There is an e-mail forwarded to me by my husband. It is about setting priorities so that important things that matter in life are given more time. I like to share it with you in case you find difficulty finding time. Here it is:

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things – Family, Children, Health, Friends, and Favorite Passions.
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else –The small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued,
‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So…
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

‘Take care of the golf balls first –
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
‘I’m glad you asked’.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’

The other day, a pack of relief goods containing a kilo of rice, two packs of lucky meat beef mami, and a can of CDO beef meat loaf, was delivered to our doorstep. It was during a time when we had least expected it. Thanks to our mayor, Hon. Mojamito Libunao, who decided not to delegate the job to the baranggay captains. Otherwise, only those close to the kapitan del barrio will be receiving.

Take what happened to us a year ago when typhoon Cosme battered our town which left so many families homeless. It was in the news that every family was going to receive three pieces of galvanized iron. Did we receive anything? No! Only those close to our baranggay captain did. And each of them received more than three. Some six. Others twelve. And those who received too much ended up selling them. And the rest were used by the kapitan in extending his house. So very kind of him.

Anyway, let me thank everybody who helped in any way possible all the victims of typhoon Pepeng. I see relief goods continue to arrive also in nearby towns. In behalf of all these people at the receiving end, maraming salamat po.

From October 5 to 8, life was normal, kids were in school. On October 9, heavy rains started to pour in the morning. Still, there were classes that morning. I was getting apprehensive at that time because of the heavy downpour while my kids were still in school 18 kilometers away from home. Medical representatives I talked to were saying that the road going to Dagupan City was starting to get flooded. And the more I got uneasy because my kids’ school reiterated that regular classes were being conducted. By 12 NN that same day, my husband received a call that classes had been suspended and that the kids need to be fetched the soonest. Me and my husband acted immediately but since classes were suspended in all schools in the area, traffic delayed us. But we were just in time before floodwater started to rise.

On the afternoon on that same day, news spread that San Roque dam was going to open all its gates and release water. My husband immediately surfed the internet on what areas were going to be affected. And we concluded that San Fabian will be safe. But unfortunately, several dikes were not able to contain the rampaging water and they gave way. And San Fabian, our town, was among those greatly affected.

It was hair-raising to see and hear people in such a situation. Because there was no electricity at the height of the typhoon and our generator broke down, I had only known of the very vast damage in our town and nearby areas after the typhoon. In search of food and some necessities, my family and I was able to make rounds in nearby towns. My kids just could not believe that what they were seeing were possible.

Food was the main problem after the flood. Market stalls were close for days. They have nothing to sell because everything were destroyed by Pepeng’s wrath. Bread, biscuits, and cookies were very scarce. People get to argue on who gets it first.

The day after the typhoon even the malls were close, too. When Nepo mall reopened, people trooped there causing long lines again in the cashier. There were no meat, fish, and vegetables in the wet section. I was only able to buy the essentials. I am hoping that everything will go back to normal as soon as possible.

After the first quarter grade was released in my kids’ school, many who used to be PHLs (Principal’s Honor List) did not make it. The lists from all the levels are conspicuously trimmed down to almost half. It is the result of giving quizzes (sometimes unannounced) in lieu of mid-quarter exams.

I had expected it. That’s why I advised my kids at the start of the school year to always study in advance. Teachers will be giving quizzes left and right. And it was true. For where can they be getting the grades without the usual mid-quarter exams?

It was a big shock to most students and parents, especially those who used to be PHLs. They planned to complain but I’m not sure whether they pushed it or not.

I was so relieved when Raymund, now in Grade VI, passed his Science subject where most of his classmates failed. There are just three of them (the two are girls). I am curious though how his teacher computed the grade without quizzes and just basing the grade with the 1st quarter exam. Inspite of his grade (87), he was even the highest.

The varsity team in school where Raymund was a member is greatly affected, too. Some of his teammates, around four of them, failed in Science. Thus disqualifying them from the next competition which is DepEd. The kids should really study and maintain passing grades in order to be able to join next competitions.

With regards to study habits, I find Raymund studying only every Sunday morning. With his hectic schedule (MTAP 3x a week, basketball practice 2x a week), he hardly finds the time to study at the end of the day except to make assignments. And because he travels at least an hour to and from school everyday, his time is really very limited. So I think focus is very important in studying together with a relaxed environment. Peace of mind, happy environment, family support are all important factors. But the most important factor that the student must have is DISCIPLINE.

Anyway, I was in the hospital a day before the date. My doctor said that since I came in early I might as well be operated on that day. But believe me, it was because of Mama Mary’s birthday (September 8), throngs of my doctor’s patients due that month came to ask her to be operated on that day so that their kid’s birthday will coincide with Mama Mary’s. So, I was moved to the following day which was September 9. Well, I didn’t mind. As long as I have a healthy baby. It was fine with me.

Now, that baby has grown into a very responsible and intelligent boy. Very handsome, too! Tall, dark, and handsome. Any woman could easily fall for him. But he is just eight years old and he is dreaming to become a doctor, too, someday. That is something very possible with the level of intelligence that he has. I just believe in his ability.

We gave him a new basketball ring as a present. It is a replacement of the old one which was destroyed by typhoon Cosme more than a year ago. Cheap as a birthday gift? Well, my son has simple pleasures and he was so happy with it. Maybe because he has almost everything he needs so that simple things are greatly appreciated by him. We celebrated his birthday with a special family dinner in a restaurant of his choice. I also cooked his favorite food at home.

Happy birthday, Ralph! I will always be your tutor forever. Stay as responsible and studious as you are now. I am so happy with your academic achievement. Keep it up!